Christian Doubt» Easter http://www.christiandoubt.com thoughts from someone dealing with doubt Wed, 01 Feb 2012 04:04:00 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 Why I didn’t have an Easter post http://www.christiandoubt.com/2009/04/13/why-i-didn%e2%80%99t-have-an-easter-post/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=why-i-didn%25e2%2580%2599t-have-an-easter-post http://www.christiandoubt.com/2009/04/13/why-i-didn%e2%80%99t-have-an-easter-post/#comments Tue, 14 Apr 2009 03:35:06 +0000 Mark Lefers http://christiandoubt.com/?p=267 Continue reading →]]> Last year, was pretty depressing. For those who aren’t struggling with doubt/unbelief it might be hard to understand. But take a walk in a doubter’s shoes. The faith one once took for granted is gone. The faith that made sense of the world is gone. The faith that gave hope to a better future is gone. The faith that gave you joy and freedom is gone. Now sadly walk into the most joyful of holy days. A day that every Christian is joyfully singing praise for the grace and faith they have. A day that is focused on Christ rising from the dead. A day full of promises of a future resurrection for those who believe. A day a Christian doubter can not ignore.

Easter becomes the magnifying glass that focuses the sunlight on my soul. It starts off as a warm uncomfortable sensation that makes me realize how different I am from my Christian friends and family. It turns into a burning desire to resolve this doubt I have; a desire to “just believe”. It then scorches me toward bitterness and depressing thoughts that I’m in this mess of unbelief with no hope in sight. And finally what’s left is a chard crusty shell of what I used to be.

So yeah, this Easter, I didn’t want to think about it too much. I didn’t want to dwell on my unbelief. I didn’t want to write down what I truly was feeling. I just wanted to ignore it for a day and eat some candy.

But. . . luckily for me I came down with an awful cold this past weekend, and other family members came down with the stomach flu. So the typical family get together was canceled which allowed me to have more “free time” in which to read. And the reading was good, and it helped clarify some questions I had and made some good points (which I’ll share when I actually finish the book). So this Easter was better than last, not good, but not bad.

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