Christian Doubt» Songs

On My Own – BarlowGirl

Mark Lefers — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 01:30:59 +0000

The first part of this song really hits home. However, the second part seemed like the writer was just wanting to hold onto an invisible (in my view possibly non-existent) God in order to not feel alone. I sometimes feel this draw. The emptiness of a universe without a Creator or personal God seems lonely and depressing sometimes. The desire to have a protector and savior is strong. But I still can’t believe when my whole mind thinks that type of belief is just wishful thinking, and maybe I am just on my own.

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To Know You by Nichole Nordeman

Mark Lefers — Sun, 15 May 2011 21:11:26 +0000

Another song to add to my song list dealing with doubt and uncertainty.

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It’s well past midnight
And I’m awake with questions that won’t
Wait for daylight
Separating fact from my imaginary fiction
On this shelf of my conviction
I need to find a place
Where You and I come face to face

Thomas needed
Proof that You had really risen
Undefeated
When he placed his fingers
Where the nails once broke Your skin
Did his faith finally begin?
I’ve lied if I’ve denied
The common ground I’ve shared with him

And I, I really want to know You
I want to make each day
A different way that I can show You how
I really want to love You
Be patient with my doubt
I’m just tryin’ to figure out Your will
And I really want to know You still

Nicodemus
Could not understand how You could
Truly free us
He struggled with the image
Of a grown man born again
We might have been good friends
Cuz sometimes I still question, too
How easily we come to You

No more campin’ on the porch of indecision
No more sleepin’ under stars of apathy
And it might be easier to dream
But dreamin’s not for me

I Will Not Be Moved by Natalie Grant

Mark Lefers — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 18:10:58 +0000

I have been moved.

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I have been the wayward child
I have acted out
I have questioned Sovereignty
And had my share of doubt
And though sometimes my prayers feel like
They’re bouncing off the sky
The hand I hold won’t let me go
And is the reason why…

[Chorus:]
I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

Bitterness has plagued my heart
Many times before
My life has been like broken glass
And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed
That I was far too gone
My brokenness helped me to see
It’s grace I’m standing on

[Chorus]

And the chaos in my life
Has been a badge I’ve worn
Though I have been torn
I will not be moved

[Chorus]

Doubting Thomas by Nickel Creek

Mark Lefers — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 03:01:23 +0000

When doubt has me down, songs can be a great soothing balm. Some songs give comfort, some hope, some come alongside me in my hurt and pain. Here’s one that has been all of the above.

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What will be left when I’ve drawn my last breath,
Besides the folks I’ve met and the folks who know me,
Will I discover a soul saving love,
Or just the dirt above and below me,

I’m a doubting thomas,
I took a promise,
But I do not feel safe,
Oh me of little faith,

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face,
Then I beg to be spared ’cause I’m a coward,
If there’s a master of death I’ll bet he’s holding his breath,
As I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power,
I’m a doubting thomas,
I can’t keep my promises,
‘Cause i don’t know what’s safe,
oh me of little faith

Can I be used to help others find truth,
When I’m scared I’ll find proof that its a lie,
Can I be lead down a trail dropping bread crumbs,
That prove I’m not ready to die,

Please give me time to decipher the signs,
Please forgive me for time that I’ve wasted,

I’m a doubting thomas,
I’ll take your promise,
Though I know nothin’s safe,
Oh me of little faith

Desperate by Fireflight

Mark Lefers — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 03:40:28 +0000

Some may find this song by Fireflight helpful. There are some gems in the lyrics (see below). I also like the music as it encompasses some of the anger and desperation I feel inside.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Seek and you will find, they say
but I’ve been looking everyday
for a way past this wall that’s in front of my face I’m on hands and knees searching for my faith

I know there’s so much at stake
but I don’t know if I can take one more pat on the back saying I’ll be okay Can’t you see my whole life is in disarray

You’ve got me desperate

I know You hear me,
Would You give me a sign
Reel me in before I’ve fallen in line
You’ve put me on a path I don’t understand I’m standing on a ledge waving my hands

You’ve got me desperate (do You see me?) Desperate (do You hear me?) Desperate (will You help me?) You’ve got me desperate

I know You’re my only hope
The only One who truly knows how it feels, what it’s like when it all starts to fall You’re the One I can trust who hears when I call

Some things I’ll never figure out
Until I let hope erase my doubt

You’ve got me desperate

I know You hear me,
Would You give me a sign
Reel me in before I’ve fallen in line
You’ve put me on a path I don’t understand, I’m standing on a ledge waving my hands

You’ve got me desperate (do You see me?) Desperate (do You hear me?) Desperate (will You help me?) You’ve got me desperate

Give me a revelation

Mark Lefers — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 00:11:34 +0000

This song just spoke to me, and captured some of my feelings today.

Click here to view the embedded video.

My life has led me down the road that’s so uncertain
And now I am left alone and I am broken,
Tryin’ to find my way, tryin’ to find the faith that’s gone

This time, I know that you are holding all the answers
I’m tired of losing hope and taking chances,
On roads that never seem,
To be the ones that bring me home

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been tryin’ to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without You

My life has led me down this path that’s ever winding
Through every twist and turn I’m always finding,
That I am lost again (I am lost again)
Tell me when this road will ever end
Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been tryin’ to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without

I don’t know where I can turn
Tell me when will I learn
Won’t You show me where I need to go
Oh oh
Let me follow Your lead,
I know that it’s the only way that I can get back home

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I’ve been trying to find my way,
I haven’t got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without You

Oh, give me a revelation

I’ve got nothing without You
I’ve got nothing without You

All I Want is Christ

Mark Lefers — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 14:07:48 +0000

Singing this song in church the other day and found myself singing “All I want is Christ” during the chorus. Below are the lyrics to the whole song by Jordan Kauflin.

I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still

But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You

Here’s a video that Dave MacKenzie at Sovereign Grace put together from the Next conference, where you can hear a live version of the song:

All I Have Is Christ from Sovereign Grace Ministries on Vimeo.

Science Is Real

Mark Lefers — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 03:06:24 +0000

I just love these songs. Not that science wasn’t already cool, They Might Be Giants just adds to it.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Ok, I admit, I’m a nerd.

Father, I long to be wise, Too see with new eyes

Mark Lefers — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 02:45:06 +0000

In church today I enjoyed singing a version of “We Are Listening“. Here are some of the lyrics:

Father, I long to be wise,
To see with new eyes
The truth that was written by Your hand
Father, speak
Your truth into me
Because I still believe
That You will help me understand

The lyrics just spoke to me in my quest to find the truth about Christianity. Today I felt a bit hopeful. I’m still a long ways off from anything close to what I’d consider a belief in God. But today I just felt a little bit less depressed about my unbelief.

- Download the song here.

I Once was Found but Now Am Lost

Mark Lefers — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 22:36:14 +0000

There are so many songs that move me and make me yearn ever so more to believe. Amazing Grace is one of my favorites. I don’t know if it is the story that goes with the song, or the realization that it truly will be God’s grace for me to believe again, or the memories it stirs. But it moves me to tears every time I hear it.

Click here to view the embedded video.