In going through the tentative program of the annual meeting, I’m getting more excited to go. Here are some of the interesting topics that are going to be talked about:

• Science and Scripture: Interpreting the Information –Terry Morrison
• Dinosaurs under the Microscope: A New Look at Old Dinosaurs – Mary Schweitzer
• Stem Cells, Embryos and Ethics: A Continuing Controversy – William Hurlbut
• The Study of Paleontology and the Creation Mandate – Keith B Miller
• Physical Geography of the Eastern Nile Delta during the Bronze Age: Implications for the Location of the Red/Reed Sea – Stephen O Moshier
• Reorientation’ Therapies and Same-Sex Desire: Are they Effective and Ethical? – Heather Looy
• Does the Success of Science by Itself Provide Strong Support for Naturalism? – Peter Payne
• Myth and Mystery: Fostering New Avenues of Dialogue for Faith and Science – Matthew M Huddleston
• Climate Change: Why Are Science and Faith in Conflict? – Katharine Hayhoe
• Prayers for Healing: Does God Change His Mind? – Paul H Lange

I’ll also be curious if there will be discussion of the Christianity Today cover story about evolution that came out last month. The Christianity Today article discusses the search for the historical Adam and the implications if there was no historical Adam and Eve. They quote people from both sides of the camp, the BioLogos group and “all the other real Christians”. One of the statistics that I found interesting was from a mail survey of ASA scientist. 66% of them accept that humans share ancestors with everything else, and 90% accept an old earth. This was kind of disheartening. First, this means that 34% of the ASA (an association of scientists!) rejects or doubts a basic tenet of evolution. Second is that there is still 10% who  are young-earthers.

Another disheartening part of the Christianity Today article are some of the quotes by evangelical church leaders.

“If Adam doesn’t exist, Paul’s whole argument – that both sin and grace work ‘covenantally’-falls apart . . . If you don’t believe what he believes about Adam, you are denying the core of Paul’s teaching.” Tim Keller, pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church.

“Can the Bible’s theology be true if the historical events on which the theology is based are false?. . . The hermeneutics behind theistic evolution are a Trojan horse that, once inside our gates, must cause the entire fortress of Christian belief to fall” Richard Phillips, South Carolina pastor.

Tough words to chew on. . .
Check out the American Scientific Affiliation podcasts

Just kidding. Evolution doesn’t really work this way

1. Evolution indirectly led me into my doubt/unbelief. I say “indirectly” because it wasn’t the subject of evolution per se, but Christians’ reaction to it. Evolution is true (I don’t really want to waste time debating this subject on this blog there are other places for that), but most Christians in America deny that evolution is true. Some Christian authorities even misrepresent or lie about evolution. If they do this for a non-salvation issue like evolution would they do the same for other issues like Christ resurrection? This questioning led me to doubt many things Christians have told me, which led to where I’m at now.

2. Evolution has many ramifications on many aspects of the Bible.

• Most of Genesis can’t be taken literally. If large parts of Genesis can’t be taken literally, what other parts of scripture can’t be taken literally?
• Adam and Eve probably are not literal, so is there such thing as original sin?
• If we have a common ancestor with animals, what does being made in the image of God mean?
• The problem of evil becomes more problematic if humans have been around some 250,000 years. That means God let humans suffer for 248,000 years before sending a Savior. Just think about all the pain and suffering (animal too) that has gone on before “Adam and Eve’s original sin”.
• No more general revelation. One can’t look at nature anymore as evidence for God. God could have easily made Himself known in creation so that things couldn’t be explained by evolution and the idea of a creator would be necessary to explain the world around us.
• The moral argument (our morality came from God) is slowly losing ground as more and more research in psychological evolution and neurobiology is being done.
• Religious beliefs may have an evolutionary basis.
• Evolution removed explanations that once were attributed to the supernatural. This gave further strength to a naturalistic worldview. What evidence is there for the supernatural?

3. Evolution is cool. Maybe I’m biased with my love of science, but the things science is figuring out are truly fascinating.

So with the start of the new year, I’ll try to write some posts about evolution here and there.

Another large distraction for me is all the creeping questions that enter my brain. Like:

1. if there was no Adam and Eve what happens to original sin?
2. the problem of evil
3. the God of the Old Testament
4. miracles
5. the Trinity
6. how should one read the Bible
7. what to do with all the confusing parts of the Bible
8. Is homosexuality wrong?
9. etc.

These questions start to multiply and start to crowd out the original question that I am struggling with: Is the Christian faith true?

The distractions not only confuse the issue, but they are time stealers. Instead of researching the resurrection, I am wasting my time commenting on a blog post about Intelligent Design. Instead of examining the historical reliability of the Gospels I’m discussing abortion. So instead of wasting the little time I have, I need to focus. I need to bundle up all these other questions and distractions and put them up on my “mental shelf of unanswered questions”.

Then after I have addressed the MAIN question, I can take these questions down, one by one and address them individually. I can take one question at a time and examine it, ponder it, research it, and try to come to a satisfying conclusion. I can’t expect to solve all these questions that others have pondered for thousands of years. I especially can’t expect to solve them at the same time. I can’t be that arrogant.

So my goal is to stay focused. The goal is to research the resurrection of Jesus, and keep these other questions on the shelf for now. We’ll see if I can last a week. . .

I grew up in a very nurturing Christian home. I went to a Christian grade school, a Christian high school, and a Christian college. I was baptized as an infant. I made profession of faith as a teenager. I went to many Christian youth outings. I gave myself to Christ. I married a fantastic Christian woman. I was again baptized as an adult. I was pursuing sanctification. I joined a church and a care group. I firmly believed I was a Christian. Sure, all through this time there were spiritual highs and lows, but the lows were always followed by a re-awakening. And looking back, those re-awakenings were associated with an emotional high and a feeling of hope.

I’m also a scientist. I always have been. From a very early age I wanted to be either Spider Man or a mad scientist who would turn into Spider Man. Specifically my focus has generally been in biology. However, I have a very broad training that encompasses Cell biology, Biochemistry, Genetics, Molecular Biology, Development Biology, EvoDevo and even Analytical Chemistry.

As a scientist I work and examine the natural world. I believe things based on the evidence. I try my best to think critically. It should come to no surprise that I believe in evolution and that all living things arose through common descent. As creationists define it, I believe in micro and macro evolution. I believe that humans had a common ancestor with the other great apes. I don’t believe there was a Noah flood, and I don’t believe there was an Adam and Eve.

For most of my life I held in balance the best I could, my belief in God and in the evolving world around me. The constant arguing with fellow Christian creationist and IDers caused my stumble into doubt. I continually asked myself, “If they are misrepresenting or lying about a non-salvation issue like evolution, are they misrepresenting or lying about salvation issues such as Christ resurrection, the existence of a loving God, etc.”

Normally my stumble into doubt would soon fade away as I would find some reason to believe. However since the beginning of 2007 my doubt has became more and more severe. Questions that I struggled with in the past resurfaced and became more troubling. If first part of Genesis is not literal, how much of the rest of Scripture is not literal? Was Christ resurrection just symbolic? The problem of evil becomes more problematic if Humans have been around some 250,000 years. That means God let humans suffer for 248,000 years before sending a Savior. Just think about all the pain and suffering that has gone on before “Adam and Eve’s original sin”.

Evolution has dealt a death blow to general revelation. God could have easily made Himself known in creation so that things couldn’t be explained by evolution and the idea of a creator would be necessary to explain the world around us. Why is God so hidden? Why isn’t it obvious that there is a God? Why is the one thing He supposedly gave us (the Bible) so hard to understand? Why can people read so many different things into it; resulting in many denominations and even cults? Why didn’t Jesus specifically write down what He wanted us to do and make that text physically unchangeable? Such as a stone tablet, or having the printing press invented in Jerusalem. Instead He relied on flawed people to hand write His message. If the first part of Genesis (at least 1-10) can’t be taken literally, what part of the Old Testament can? What part is “true” what part isn’t?

Broader questions arose too. What kind of relationship is it that we’re forced into an extreme decision: to believe and love Him, or be punished for eternity? My life seems too short and I feel too uninformed to base a decision that will affect the rest of my eternity.

Atheism seems more logically in tune with what I experience day to day. Things reproduce, grow, die, and then fade away. If we are so close to apes, what make us think we have a soul and they don’t? What about a dog, or a fish, or a tree? We’re here for a moment, and then we’re gone. Poof. Nothing more than a rotting body. No “after life”, just nothing.

Why should I believe otherwise? Oh yeah, that book that some people long ago wrote. What was their motivation to write that stuff? Was it to come to grips with their crappy life? To make themselves feel better about their lousy lot in life? Is it just another religion with a promise of an after life? And just because Christianity has the best (religious) story doesn’t make it true.

These are just a few of the painful, gut wrenching thoughts that go through my head. So as of today I go back and forth of whether or not I’m a Christian with severe doubt, or an agnostic. So, I’ve started this blog to help capture some of my thoughts, and hopefully can make progress one way or another.