In reading Dangerous Journey, The Story of Pilgrim’s Progress, to my kids, I was taken aback by the how close to home one of the chapters hit. The chapter is about two pilgrims, Christian and Hopeful, who find themselves unjustly imprisoned in the dungeon of Doubting Castle. There they lay without food or water. They were cut off from their friends and no one knew where they were. Here the gloomy figure, Giant Despair, beats Christian and Hopeful without mercy and leaves them helpless on the floor in the dark dungeon of Doubting Castle.
Giant Despair tries to convince Christian and Hopeful to give up and kill themselves. He then shows them the skeletons of past pilgrims who he tore apart. However, when Christian thought all was lost he remembered an old key called Promise in his pocket that he used to unlock the door to the dungeon. Christian and Hopeful then escaped from Doubting Castle.
Like the story, I often feel beat up by Despair and left broken on the cold dark floor of the dungeon. I also often feel like giving up when I see all the “skeletons” of people torn apart by Despair in Doubting Castle. There are many ex-Christians blogs out there with many de-conversion stories. How scary it is to hear of pastors who after years of believing in God, have now renounced their faith.
I have tried to find a way out of this dungeon. I have looked for loose stones, I have tried to dig a tunnel, I have tried to trick the guards, but nothing has worked. I am stuck in this dungeon, desperately searching my pockets trying to find the old key called Promise.
Mark,
Keep reading — they get out! I do think that the Christian church today does not do anywhere near enough to provide help for those who are locked in the castle. It needs to be stormed from the outside.
Tim,
I love the image your statement stirred, of hundreds of thousands of people storming Doubting Castle. Some risking their own lives as they scale the wall. Teams of individuals bashing in the gate. Still others digging tunnels under the wall. However, I think most are content with marching around the wall in silence and hoping that God will eventually knock down the walls to Doubting Castle.
Mark,
You might enjoy reading some parts of Adam Storey Farrar, A Critical History of Free Thought (New York: D. Appleton and Co., 1863). I particularly like the epigraph on p. 116 for the chapter on the deist controversy in England. It is drawn from Isaiah 59:6–
When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him.
Oops! Make that Isaiah 59:19. Sorry
I have to look this story up – who wrote it? The author describes so well how I feel…I’m curious how it ends. This week I stumbled upon all these deconversion stories myself. Up to that point, all I’ve heard was from the vocal new atheists who are so arrogant that they give me encouragement to continue to strive for faith. But the stories of the more humble atheists are definitely tempting me to give up. But ironically, finding this blog gives me a glimmer of hope that maybe I can’t just contribute everything to chance, and maybe there is a God after all.
Like a child,
Don’t ever give up too easily. And certainly don’t let others actions influence your faith too much. Not arrogant atheists or hypocritical Christians. Base your faith on the truth and go from there. Best of “luck” on your faith journey.
The story is by John Bunyan and it ends well. I won’t spoil it though. The version I read was a children’s version by William Eerdmans Publishing Co Grand Rapids, MI 1985.